


Southern Exposure

by farevenasdecidedtouse



Category: Archer (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, Fucking For Warmth, Huddling For Warmth, Thank God We're Alive Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 01:42:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10709496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/farevenasdecidedtouse/pseuds/farevenasdecidedtouse
Summary: Somewhere in the South Pole...





	Southern Exposure

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Missy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/gifts).



“Anything?”

“No. Me?”

“No.”

“Yes! In your face, polar bears!”

Lana sat back onto the insulated tent floor with a groan, groping for her discarded parka. “Archer, you’re in more danger of getting dick frostbite right now than you are of meeting a polar bear ten miles outside the smoking remains of McMurdo Station.”

“Hey, it was your idea to strip off.” Archer’s grin was reaching shit-eating proportions.

Lana wished briefly for some kind of ordinance stronger than the satellite phone lying next to her bare thigh. “So we could see if they’d _shot_ either of us. Between the adrenaline and the cold we could have bled out by now and not even noticed we were wounded.”

“What, you learn that from that one episode of _House_?” Archer smirked. “That was a good episode. Remember, it was on that night in Manila when those hookers—“

“ _No._ Unlike half the occupants of his tent, I actually pay attention in field survival classes.” Lana squinted at the parka, tossed it aside, and reached for her bra. Her hands weren’t shaking, exactly—a secret agent of her caliber would never have shaking hands, even after a firefight like that—but the clasp was definitely not cooperating. With a disgusted noise she tossed it aside and pulled on her shirt. “Look, we’ve got four hours till we have to explain this to your mother—“

“Whoa whoa whoa. What do you mean ‘we,’ Kane-o sabe?” Archer held out his hands, definitely not making any move toward his own parka. “You were the one who started reenacting Gunfight at the OK Corral. _I_ was the one who saved the valuable ice core data.”

“You were the one who _destroyed_ the valuable ice core data!”

“Thus saving it from encroaching enemy agents which were in no way part of the original brief! And probably from the aforementioned polar bears following the trail of blood through the snow!”

“That’s sharks, you imbecile!”

“Are you saying polar bears can’t smell blood? _Now_ who wasn’t paying attention in field survival?”

“Not over the base you blew up, they can’t!”

“See? It’s a net win! Besides, we’re alive, aren’t we?” Archer paused, obviously realizing, just as Lana had, that there were inches between them. “Uh, what were we arguing about again?”

“Forget it. And come here. We should be huddling for warmth, this tent isn’t great.” Lana pulled close, not even bothering to recoil when she felt the state of his dick against her hip. Making a swift decision, the words _we’re alive, aren’t we?_ still echoing in her head, she pushed him onto his back underneath her, whatever smartass comment he was about to make swallowed by her lips along with his initial surprised huff of breath. His hands went straight to the curve of her hips like they always had, rocking her against him with a motion that she quickly transferred her own desperate grinding into. She was already wetter than she should have been— _that_ definitely had to be the quick escape, not the billionth argument with this moronic, incompetent, immature…

“ _Archer,_ ” she gasped as he slipped a finger inside her, his other hand raising to pull her shirt back over her head. He dipped his head to kiss between her breasts (fortunately, as his flask had presumably exploded with the counter-agents and McMurdo, he wasn’t drunk enough to motorboat) and down her chest as far as he could go without dislodging her from his lap. She bit her lip but let out a hiss regardless as he added a second finger, curving them up so that his palm cupped her clit with every stroke. With a jerk of his hair she pulled his mouth back up to hers, more worried he would say something to spoil the perfect cocktail of adrenaline, pissed-off arousal, and righteous indignation pumping through her better than any booze she’d ever tasted.

He was hard enough by now that she could climb right on, no mean feat in a tent cold enough she could see her breath, and she didn’t feel like waiting any longer. Clit throbbing where it rubbed against the shaft, she raised her hips just high enough to feel the tip of it inside her along with his fingers even as he slid them out of her to grip the curve of her ass. “Wondering why you don’t do this more often?” he asked, grinning.

“More like worried shrinkage will set in momentarily and you’ll be no use till the helo gets here,” Lana panted between thrusts.

“She said denialistically—ow! God, are you trying to make me bleed where they failed?”

“Suck it up and fuck me,” Lana replied, leaving an answering bite mark on the other side of his neck as she felt his thrusts picking up speed. “And if you even think about coming before… oh, _fuck,_ Archer, I’m—“ The thought didn’t seem worth continuing as she clenched hard enough around him to _feel_ his ensuing moan all the way through her along with the ripples of her orgasm, drawn out into one wave and another and another until even he couldn’t bother pretending to last anymore and groaned into her shoulder with his own orgasm. Panting, trembling with aftershocks, she held him tight against her as he spurted inside her over and over until she thought regretfully of the birth control pills in the pocket of her parka along with the other _really_ important stuff.

“I don’t think ‘denialistically’ is even a word,” Lana observed once they both had their breath back. Somehow they had both ended up collapsed on the floor on top of a layer of discarded clothing, her spooned against his chest, his arms around her waist.

“And you don’t think polar bears live in the Arctic. So who’s the idiot in this tent?”

“The—Archer, did you somehow manage to miss every time someone said we were being deployed to the _Ant_ arctic? McMurdo Station is like the only thing it’s known for besides penguins!”

“Wait, there are penguins here? Can they smell blood? Because I’m pretty sure I’m bleeding where you bit me.”

 “Recover faster so you can fuck me instead of talking.”


End file.
